I’ve had this little list next to my desk and stuck in my notebook for the last week and it has really come in handy. I’m susceptible to getting upset at things people say (or in my work, type), eagerly taking someone’s innocuous ping and blowing it up to a personal affront to myself and my family’s security or wellbeing. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens more often than it should.
Of course this is ridiculous and I’m not nearly as important as I think I am. Someone else’s irritation, rudeness or strange behavior is not likely to be about me. To use a shiny new word I recently learned, I am not the omphalos of the world, or even my own house.
Anyway, this is a handy tool for putting things in perspective in any work or personal dealings that start to get under your skin. Credit to Recomendo where I first found it.
How to stop taking things personally
- Realise that other people’s rudeness is not about you. It’s a reflection of their own issues.
- Ask yourself what else the comment might mean. For example, if someone doesn’t smile or say hello, they might just be shy.
- Take comments or criticism in a constructive way. Ask yourself if there’s any truth to it? What could you learn?
- Take a different perspective. Ask yourself how an unbiased outsider would see the situation.
- Realise that you cannot please everyone.
- Know that you are not defined by your mistakes or criticism.
- Realise that your self-worth depends on you, not what others say about you.