The hidden cost of cheap

I know the age-old wisdom that “you get what you pay for”, but it seems I needed to learn that lesson again. Here is what happened.

We needed to buy a bed after moving house. We knew we wanted to get a loft-style bed to accommodate our girl’s expanding crafting studio taking up every inch of her room, but we also knew we didn’t want to spend much because we think it’ll probably be used for around 2–3 years max before she outgrows it. So we went with a relatively inexpensive option (from Wayfair), and ended up regretting every moment of the 6 plus hours it took to build this cheaply made monstrosity.

Now, I’m a devoted father of two children, so I know a thing or two about putting together all manner of things purchased from all manner of retailers, so when we were looking for a new bed for my daughter after moving house, I understood this meant I was going to spend a few hours building something flat packed. I was ok with that. I’m not afraid of IKEA-type furniture. At least IKEA stuff is (generally) well-made and fits together like it says it will. After this, I long for something from IKEA.

This was not that. Oh no, it wasn’t…

Let me count the ways that this sucked:

1. The unpacking alone easily took over an hour, and I could hear the earth crying as I removed all the plastic and styrofoam.
2. There were 2 sets of instructions (why?), both with mostly the same instructions that were barely legible
3. The parts were poorly designed. There are multiple pieces which are nearly identical, but that are not interchangeable but instead need to be placed in very specific configurations. It would be trivial to add subtle design on the parts to ensure they don’t go in the wrong spot (IKEA does this well). Sadly, there was none of this.
4. The parts were poor quality. Some of the bolts were bent (literally not straight!), the metal was paper thin in parts, and in other parts warped and/or dented and scratched.
5. The manufacturer warning stickers were impossible to remove, even with Goo Gone. Not only that, they were on the top and sides of the outside of the bed, not the inside where they might be hidden. This is an inexcusable sin.
6. Did I mention the instructions were terrible? They are barely legible. This would not have been an issue except that, see number 3 above: all the parts went in a very specific place.

The bed is built now finally after much blood sweat and tears. Sure, it wobbles like an earthquake test when you put the slightest weight on it, but it’ll be fine, right? It’s only for 2–3 years. Oh god, I have to look at it for 2–3 years, maaaan. 😱

I actually feel a bit sick that we paid money for this contraption that someone (or some AI) designed so poorly and some factory churned out so badly, and that we had a hand in bringing into the world such crap.

It was a mistake.

Never. Again.