Jerry Colonna’s book Reboot explores the emotional baggage we all carry and how we can each use a practice of self-inquiry to sort through it all. While it certainly contains a wealth of helpful approaches and ideas, one concept stuck out in particular for me: the concept of the Irrational Other.
It goes something like this:
Have you ever though that if so-and-so [insert name of person here] just behaved the way they should, your work/life would be so much easier? Why are they so irrational, can’t they see the problems they are causing?
If you are like me, you have these feelings all the time. It doesn’t really matter who you are dealing with, the Irrational Other is a never-ending source of frustration.
Here’s the key to unlocking this frustration:
- Understanding that the Irrational Other is acting that way because they are struggling with their own ingrained patterns that they learned as a means to survive and be safe.
- Realizing your reaction to the Irrational Other is actually you projecting your own good and bad traits onto them, the traits that were key to helping you survive and be safe.
“…we all have a choice in the experience of the Other. We can remain stuck. Or we can allow the Irrational Other to provoke us, to wake us up to the repetition of painful habits and-with love and understanding for ourselves and an embrace of the ghosts in the machine-we can move past any fear or shame and take a step on the path of awakening.”
It’s hard to do, but maybe holding these two thoughts in mind can create just enough space between a trigger and response to pause and be a little less frustrated.
“All beings own their own karma, their happiness or unhappiness depends on their actions, not my wishes for them.”
Comments welcome!