The timeline for any IKEA purchase

Allan wrenches laid out in an orderly fashion.

We recently bought some things from IKEA in a bid to address some organizational annoyances in the bedrooms and office. The last time we purchased stuff from them it was just after our move to Scotland and oh how how we forget! While IKEA can feel like a playground, I firmly maintain that shopping there will challenge even the most stoic-minded-zen-buddah jedi out there to keep their cool. Here is a timeline of how it goes, every time, without fail.

  • One day it begins…


    We need a new wardrobe and some desks for the kids room, maybe we should check out IKEA for that?!


    I seem to remember something about this from before but can’t put my finger on it.

  • After arriving at the store or browsing online for a bit…


    Look at that design. Our room can look like that!? For that price!? YESSSS I can have nice things!


    Look at that design. I know there must be a catch but am going to ignore that thought because NEW STUFF is in front of me.

  • After making it out of the store or checking out online, both of which take a minimum of six hours to complete…


    Oh you have to put it all together? It’s all good, it’ll be fun. We’ll just grab some wine and make an evening out of it! Building stuff together. ๐ŸŒˆ


    Oh you have to put it all together? I know this probably won’t be fun because I’ve done this before but the pain of that experience has somehow lost it’s bite and besides, THIS TIME it really will be fun because there is NEW STUFF in front of me.

  • 5 minutes into unboxing…


    This is actually harder than it looks but I got this. Just need my tools and I’ll be set.


    I can feel a sense of dread building. Oh and the kids and dog are “here to help” now. YAAAY!

  • 30 minutes later…




    Shouting at the kids has now commenced.

    Can you stop grabbing the screwdriver and pretending to drill through the boxes please?

    Yes you can help.

    No, don’t touch that, you can LOOK at it.

    (drops screws on the floor)

    Dammit, I can’t concentrate with you guys right here!!!

    My face is NOT turning red.

  • 1 hour later…


    Keep breathing….


    Why is it so damn hot in this room!!!

  • 2 hours later…



    Why doesn’t this $%^&* fit right? Whatever, give me the hammer!

  • 3 hours later…


    Cool we’re done! That was challenging but we got through it together.


    OK finally done, thank god. Now what the hell am I going to do with all this packing material? Anyone need an allan wrench?

  • 4 hours later…


    All better now, our life already feels much more streamlined and organized. We should have bought more!


    Finally cleaned up everything, although, we now have a backlog of 6 weeks worth of paper recycling in the office. At least we have a slim wardrobe in the kids room now. Really pleased about that. Totally worth my entire evening for that one thing.

    Where’s my drink? ๐Ÿฅƒ

  • After a year and a half…


    Thanks IKEA! High-five!


    This stuff looks like crap and it’s half-broken now. I’m off to the dump!

  • Three years later…


    We need a new bed, maybe we should check out IKEA for that?!


    ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿคฏ

Sam and I building furniture on the carpet in the bedroom.
The kids are helping, yaaay!

6 responses

  1. Phil Severson Avatar
    Phil Severson

    That was hilarious!! Been there done that way to many times!!

  2. I got a chuckle out of that! I can empathize!

    1. Ha! Thank you ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  3. […] The timeline for any IKEA purchase […]

  4. […] Welcome to some adventures in DIY land! Since moving to Scotland, my DIY skills are steadily improving (out of necessity mainly). Although I’m always going to be much more comfortable with the software side of things, there is plenty of space in my life for building and working with my hands (even if it is IKEA-based building). […]

  5. Iโ€™m too scared to venture into IKEA – lol

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